Shall we?
Onishibari no mi ga akakunatta
Kanari na kibun o sashihasande-miru
Umaretakute kita mi ja nai kara
Shinitaku-nakutemo shinun darou toka
Satorikitta furi de
Ikite-miru ii ja nai
Hito no yo wa itsumo senbiki ga kitsui kara
Matomo ni ikeba kizudarake
Kizu o name-name ikou kana
Oni o su ni shite kuu sa
Patch, patch with something red
Like a maraschino cherry
And frozen cranberry
Chut, chut, with someone hot
Like an equalitarian
And yam-yngdourian
Fad, fad with something cool
Like a hidden luminary
And will-o-the-wisp too
Kosoku na shudan de toki o kaseide
Kisanji shina hana o matsu ma wa
The place is Abenobashi Shopping Arcade, Osaka.
It's a nice shopping arcade with real human warmth,
but well, it hasn't been able to resist the passage of time
and one shop after another has gone out of business like teeth falling out of a comb.
The whole place is turning into open lots. It's so sad.
And that's where Sasshi and Arumi were born and raised.
Twelve years have passed since they've formed their duo.
But the time to say good-bye has a way of coming around.
Arumi's family is going to move to Lake Akan in Hokkaido.
Sad little Sasshi.
And this is the story of their last summer break in grade school.
The two have jumped, you see.
Where, you ask?
Well, the thing is, it's a world that doesn't make a whole lot of sense.
Episode 2 Adventure! Abenobashi * Sword and Sorcery Shopping Arcade
I wonder, is this the new department store that Mom was talkin' about?
Where the heck would you find such a confusin' department store?
It's gotta be a foreign castle, no matter how ya look at it.
Foreign? Like where?
Foreign means Europe, of course! What're ya talkin' about?
How can ya peg it like that?
'Sides, talk about broad. Europe!
Maybe it's French?
It's French! It's gotta be!
So, like I said, how can ya peg it like that?!
Have ya ever heard of any rumors
that there're still some dragons survivin' in France?
Like hell I would've.
I know! Cell phone!
How long're ya gonna stay leaned up against me?!
Cell phone! Cell phone!
That's right!
No Signal
Shoot, there's no signal.
Which means, this really is France.
If it's France, we're in deep trouble.
We won't even be able to order food.
Arumi, can you order a Meal A or somethin' in French?
Even if I could, I wouldn't!
Never mind 'bout that. You got money?
Money?!
Money... Money...
There we go!
Man, I'm beat.
It was speakin' in Japanese.
It said, "Man, I'm beat."
Looks like we can understand the language here.
What the heck? It's your papa.
Dad!
Oh, call me "Papa"!
Your stomach hurtin' or somethin', Dad?
Non, non, "Papa".
No, never mind the "non, non".
Won't you tell us what the heck is goin' on around here, Dad?
Look, look, repeat after me. "Papa."
That was English in the middle for some reason.
Papa!
Bon jour, in a sense, mon amour.
Oh, Sir Hero!
Hero?
Hi, Sir Hero.
Ms. Aki!
Ms. Aki is...
Good luck defeatin' the Great Evil Lord!
Here's some war funds for you.
800 gold pieces!
War funds?
War?! What do you mean, war?! And what's this Great Evil Lord?!
"Summoned and I pop out, ta-da"
They're all weird shops, but...
Say, Sasshi, doesn't it sorta feel familiar?
Feel familiar?
What's this?
Spot!
C'mere, Spot! Spot! Spot!
That was hot!
Why's it Spot?
Little critters with pointy ears are usually "Spot"!
Ain't that right?!
Or you like Jon better?!
Man, you're so annoyin'.
Who's the more annoyin' one here?!
This is the pits, for real.
Is this some kinda curse too?
This is stupid.
To hell with it, you blithering idiot!
Here's your change! Fifty billion gold pieces!
I've heard that voice somewhere before!
Go build a house with it or something!
Hey, it's you, Mr. Kouhei!
Eh?! What the?! You're a hero I haven't seen before!
To hell with it!
Mr. Kouhei, the down home Tokyo version.
You blithering idiot!
Hurry up and buy some equipment, you retards!
Excuse me, what's this place called?
What did you say, you damned blithering idiots?!
This is Abenobashi Shopping Arcade!
Abenobashi Shoppin' Arcade?!
It's a bastard sword!
A bladesword?!
They've even got the Muramasa blade!
Sasshi, keep it to one item. You shouldn't waste your money.
You're not my mom, you know.
It's chain mail! There's ring mail! Here's plate mail!
He's so happy, that moron. It's chain mail! There's ring mail! Here's plate mail!
He's so happy, that moron.
I see.
So, this is still technically Abenobashi Shoppin' Arcade.
Even if it is a bit weird.
I wonder what kinda Great Evil Lord is here?
Oh, the decisions.
With this and this, I'll be over budget,
but I can't take this gauntlet off.
And I need this shield here, too.
Oh, and this one here's tough to let go of too.
The decisions!
Shouldn't he have other stuff to agonize about?
You seem to be troubled, Miss.
What? Oh...
I have no place to go home to.
Oh, you're lost.
Then buy the key chain of good luck.
I'll sell it to you cheap.
Oh, do I look mega cool or what?!
To hell with it! With all of that together...
God damn it! 600 it is! Rob me blind, why don't you?!
We have 800 gold pieces.
The theory here is to leave a minimum of 200 for findin' a place to stay and stuff like that.
C'mon, the money, the money!
Arumi! Where d'you go?!
Hey, what do ya think?!
All of this, only for 600 gold pieces!
And right now, every customer also gets a high class alligator leather sheath
and an all-purpose Taisho Era Japanese harp
that you can even play while you're taking a bath!
Ta-da!
I bought this!
Bought it? Why?
Oh, I just wanted this one thing.
So, how much was it?
Would you believe it?! It was exactly 800 gold pieces!
Surprising! Enormous Good Luck Power
Just by keeping it on you Bundles of cash will come rolling your way!
Great Response Your luck will take a sudden turn for the better!
No!
A knockoff key chain gilded to the hilt cost 800 gold pieces...
An' just like that, we're penniless.
Buyin' a wooden sword as a souvenir on a school trip
would've still been better than this.
Sure, you say that, but when you're told it's half off the normal price
for the real thing that even the supermodel Christine uses...
Who the heck is that?
Don't you know? That famous Christine!
Or was it Stephanie? Barbara? Who?
I don't know!
That's gotta be fake! Arumi, you got scammed!
What? Then it wasn't actually half off?
Was it more like 20% off?
No, that's not my point.
He had on such a shabby hooded cape,
really lookin' the part of "I'm a good-hearted wizard"
and he only gave me 20% off?!
That mister was good! What a tradesman!
A shabby hooded cape?
Yeah, a mister with long hair and a cane.
Could he have been a sorcerer?!
Which would make this a magical item?!
Shoot, I'm gettin' dizzy.
So, Arumi, what did the guy say about the attributes of this thing?
What?
That's kind of a secret.
Why?
This is...
What is it?
Here's a freaky-lookin' lady.
Slime Mune-mune has appeared!
I wonder what's so funny?
She's weird, don't make eye contact with her.
Oh, if we make eye contact, she'll attack us and steal our lunches!
That's a monkey!
I cannot allow you advance a single step beyond this point!
A Attack D Talk Antagonistically B Defend E Flee C Talk Friendly
Oh, no, we're gonna be goin' this way anyway, so...
Please don't mind us.
I see, so you insist on trying to get past me.
We didn't say that.
It cannot be helped.
In that case, you must first fight and best me, Mune-mune!
Fight her breasts?
Arumi's paper fan hits! Sasshi's HP Minus 5
All right, so you're going to insist on doing this!
In that case...
Holy crap!
Arumi, gimme the magical item that we poured our entire savings into!
I'm pretty sure it won't work against her.
Take this!
Mune-mune's Attack! Sasshi's HP Minus 30
Sasshi!
Talk about lame.
Hero Sasshi has died!
Oh, he's really dead!
You can't get out yet!
What the heck am I supposed to do?!
Oh, Hero Sasshi, how could you end up dyin'?
O Sasshi's soul, come reside in this body once again.
Mornin'.
I see.
I'm slowly beginnin' to get the hang of the rules in this world.
Quit that! It's depressin'!
But it's standard background music.
'Sides, why're you walkin' in single file when it's just the two of us?!
You really are a newbie, aren't you?
Each world has its own conventions, you see.
You got killed right off the bat by a Slime!
Why're you talkin' like you're some expert?!
If you're a hero, then walk in front like a real hero!
Say, Arumi,
why didn't you bring out the magical item for me?
Like I said, it wouldn't be effective against her.
What kinda magic is that?
Ahem.
At any rate, most importantly, in other words,
we most likely absolutely have to defeat the Great Evil Lord to get out of this place.
What the heck? Suddenly takin' on an explanatory tone...
Well, you're probably right, but where could the Great Evil Lord be?
Don't worry! This kind of map generally only has one linear path.
Monster Medusa Mune-mune has appeared!
You're not getting past me.
Red Snake?!
Come on!
There's a Yellow Snake too.
Okay, now you're in the lead. Go out there and fight.
That system is way too old!
No questions asked!
Oh shoot!
Monster Dragon Mune-mune has appeared!
Sasshi, can't you at least do a little somethin'?
You just keep standin' there like an idiot and gettin' killed.
But if you really think about it, don't I have zero equipment?
Mini-Boss Black Mune-mune has appeared!
Mini-Boss? We haven't even cleared one map.
Hero, you have done well to make it this far. I'm impressed.
Oh, this is the arbitrary advancement of plot that you get in a lot of crap games.
But you two will die here!
You two?! Does that mean me, too?!
How many times have I already died today?!
If we both die here, it'll be "game over," right?
Die!
Whoa, wait, stop, that's dangerous!
Hey, lady, what're you doin'?!
Prepare to die!
Sasshi, watch out!
No!
I hate snails! I can't stand snails!
Oh-ho, I see, so this is her weakness.
No! Oh-ho, I see, so this is her weakness.
Why the heck do ya have that on ya?
I hate snails! I can't stand snails! Why the heck do ya have that on ya?
I hate snails! I can't stand snails! 'Cause I'm the daughter of a French cook, of course.
You still wouldn't normally carry snails around.
In that case...
Here, I've got plenty for ya!
No! Please stop! No!
There! How's that?! There and there!
All right! Magic!
Excuse me, Miss Arumi?
Hey, you!
Please tell me! Who gave you that key chain?
It wasn't given to me, I bought it. From a mister with long hair.
Mr. Longinus? That sounds like a trump card sort of name!
No, no, this guy with hair that's long...
That person wouldn't have happened to have...
looked like this?
Yeah, yeah, he did.
It's him! He is in this town!
So, which way did he go?!
That way. I think.
She left...
I see! So, that's how the magic works.
No, that's probably not what it was.
Dungeon Entrance
All right, a dungeon means the Evil Lord is comin' up soon.
How the heck can you tell?
The inside of a dungeon is where we're close and yet so far.
What a nasty way to cut corners! Is that even allowed?!
Just never mind it.
Here we go! This is the final decisive battle!
The shoppin' arcade's, no, the fate of the world and our happiness
is ridin' on this battle!
Yeah! I'm gettin' pumped up, I'm gettin' pumped up, I'm gettin' pumped up!
Now, go, Hero Sasshi!
Don't mind me! Now, hurry!
It's a monster!
Okay, good luck!
What's okay?!
You're just watchin' from a safe distance!
It's an honest-to-goodness Great Evil Lord!
Good, good, you're doin' great!
Now, just go for it and we'll clear the game!
No good! I surrender! I give up!
I'm sorry! My fault! Forgive me!
There's no way I can win against this thing!
'Sides, I don't have any weapons at all!
Arumi! I'm beggin' you! The key chain!
Oh, fine.
I wonder if this'll actually help, though?
Now! Legendary Hero Sasshi!
Not that I really understand what's goin' on.
Oh, to hell with it!
What the heck is this thing?! It's totally useless!
Take a closer look! See?! It's startin' to take effect!
What the?! What the?!
Somethin' weird's startin' to happen...
How's this?!
There, there, there, there, and there!
It's workin', it's workin'!
Say, is this magic...
The chest's gettin' larger 'n larger...
Sasshi!
Oh, the magic's gone.
What the heck is this?
I lose, I lose! I'll grant you one wish, anything you want!
What?!
We cleared the game!
Then, for our wish, we want to go home!
Send us back to the world we came from!
I understand!
What the heck is this?
Really, we should have all sorts of offerings too, but it'll be okay. Probably.
Probably? Is it goin' to be all right?
You'll be able to get there with this!
Now, stand there!
Put your hands together!
Let's see. Like this?
Don't you start talkin' that way too.
Close your eyes!
Now, chant it three times, just like you did earlier.
All things extant in this world,
gods of Heaven, gods of Earth, let them be as they should be.
All things extant in this world,
gods of Heaven, gods of Earth, let them be as they should be.
All things extant in this world,
gods of Heaven, gods of Earth, let them be as they should be.
Thus shall it be.
Are we there?
Is it okay to open our eyes?
It's night. The stars are so pretty.
Are we back?
What the heck is going on?!
To be continued
Anata no kokoro ni kaze ga aru nara
Soshite sore ga haru no kaze nara
Watashi hitori de fukarete-mitai na itsumade mo
Itsumade mo
Anata no kokoro ni sora ga aru nara
Soshite sore ga aoi sora nara
Watashi hitori de nobotte-mitai na dokomade mo
Dokomade mo
Datte itsumo anata wa waratte iru dake
Soshite watashi o dakishimeru dake
Okay, it's the next episode preview.
I'll really do a preview this time.
Then just do it.
I'm gonna, I'm gonna.
All right! I'm so happy. I get to do the next episode preview.
Why're you so happy about somethin' like that?
Why? Arumi, haven't you ever wished upon the stars that you'll get
to do a next episode preview just once in your lifetime?
Of course not. What're you, a moron?
Not a moron! It's somethin' all normal kids would wish for!
You're definitely the only one.
You're so wrong! Everyone does it!
Well, that doesn't really matter, but...
It does too matter!
If you don't clear these things up now, later on, they'll...
Next Time Hook Up! Abenobashi * Great Milky Way Shopping Arcade If you don't clear these things up now, later on, they'll...
Next Time Hook Up! Abenobashi * Great Milky Way Shopping Arcade I think you're out of time.
Next Time Hook Up! Abenobashi * Great Milky Way Shopping Arcade What?